Why costume parties are more fun in-person

The sociologist Erving Goffman once noted that any social encounter is to be understood by the 'functioning of the 'membrane' that encloses it,' (1961: pp.79).

Over the weekend I had to cancel my attendance at a get together with friends - a Halloween costume party. From all details the event was a happy and silly occasion - pineapples were strewn on the floor. Men were dressed as flamingos. What's not to love. So, how do I know such fun was had? Because Facebook, Twitter etc. tells me so. I have had no 'real' contact with those friends who donned silly wigs and so forth and did go along, but according to the various snippets of news from Status Updates, feeds and so forth, I 'know' that things were a resounding and fun filled success. If left a bit disturbing after a PVC 'incident'.

But how does this relate to Goffman and his 'functioning' social 'membrane''? Goffman was writing about Fun in Games. Excluded from the fun, my attachment to the functioning membrane of the encounter was made more permeable by my being able to have an absent presence.

So, rather than being 'cut off' from the sociability that give particular events - such as the party above - weight, these can be shared out amongst those who were there, as well as those who were not, but should have been, in attendance. This meant I bought the costume, I dressed up, I wasn't there, but to all intents and purposes I can share and 'live out' some of the happenings. Just not the chaffing of the PVC.

Thus with social media, we remain at all times - should we choose - connected to the various occasions and friends of our social lives. In doing so, we seek to dispel the myth of the socially disconnected and those more tortured sets of individuals who are in effect 'cut off' from one another. Here then, a new set of rules apply. These lay down the types of behavior and influence that can be given to the allocation of socially realised encounters. Hence, if an individual is absent from one occasion they can - in effect - remain 'spontaneously' involved. In this way technology provides a sustainable social platform from which to perpetuate the stability of selective relationships as we choose to move either closer, or further away from whatever social interludes and/or people that take our fancy.

Our goal is to be at ease with one another, as they may be stabilised on the one hand and then become unbalanced on another. Indeed, as any user of Facebook, Twitter etc. should know, any inaccurately maneuvered interaction immediately pokes through the thin membrane of our social reality. So when the likes of Lily Allen et al. rant on Twitter, we are amused, but also this is displaced within our social sphere. We have no personal claim or connection to that person. But we are curious and want to ride out the distractions of others...

Where does this leave us then? In short attend that party. The PVC incidence is more funny in-situ.